Barb and the Bears - Part II

The nightly bear visits were the topic of conversation at most tables. The waitress offered one or two of her favourite stories. It wasn’t long before Barb announced that she had no intention of spending the evening in a tent. She phoned the only motel in town – no vacancy!

Barb was adamant that she would not spend the night in a tent, to be dragged off and eaten by some hungry bear. Wayne was equally entrenched. Barb decided that she would spend the night in their car, with or without Wayne. She knew she would be safe there. But then, the logger sat down.

High work boots, suspenders, and a madras shirt bore testament to his work. He was well intentioned, but a beer or two too many, did nothing for his selection of calming anecdotes. His mantra was that there was nothing to worry about as the bears had not eaten anyone – yet. Whatever sense of security Barb felt with her plan to spend the evening in the safe confines of her car was dashed, when he recounted how the bear had pushed in the rear window of a pickup truck to reach some tasty morsel. He rose from the table, patted Barb on the head, and reiterated that there was nothing to worry about. I doubt Barb was even aware of his touch. It didn’t take much to guess what scenario was being played out in Barb’s mind.

Wayne made no progress with having Barb abandon her “nonsense” about sleeping in the car. And he would hear nothing of leaving that evening to return home. Any hope that Barb would relent, and sleep in the tent, was lost when we spied one of the bears on the mudflats near our tents. The group did their best to distract Barb from observing the bear, but for naught. We went to bed, we in our tents, and Barb to the car. The die was cast.

Barb remained alert and awake in her car. Sometime in the wee hours of the morning, she spotted one of the bears as it unsuspectingly approached her car. She flashed her headlights and blasted her horn. Confused, and no doubt alarmed, the bear quickly ran off into the woods. The rest of us poked our heads from our tents to see what was happening. Barb needed to talk with Wayne but was not going to leave the safety of her car. She started the vehicle and drove up onto the grass and parked alongside Wayne’s protruding head. Considering Barb’s state of mind, Wayne was lucky that she didn’t park atop him. With window only slightly ajar, she pleaded with Wayne to reconsider and spend the remainder of the morning with her in the car. Wayne, male to the end, stuck to his guns.

Car fumes were beginning to affect Wayne. Punctuated with repeated coughs, he insisted that Barb leave him alone as he stood a far greater chance of being asphyxiated as being eaten by bears.

Barb retreated to the road and parked herself directly under the only streetlight in Holberg. Her sound and light attack upon the bear guaranteed no further bear visits. In the morning she collected Wayne and they drove off together, as a film of frost began to develop on the inside of their car windows. We were sure that we would be contacted by one or the other’s divorce lawyer in due course.

Wayne later called to say that all was okay and that Barb was no longer afraid to hike in bear country. He had learned a valuable lesson that morning in Holberg. I asked whether that meant that he was more compassionate and understanding with Barb. He said no, but that he had equipped Barb’s backpack with halogen headlights and a diesel horn.