15. His interpretive skills are limited to, “That green thing is a tree.”14. Says it’s OK to leave the group’s tin cans behind, as tin is biodegradable.
13. Announces a special dinner surprise while seated beside a mountain of seagull feathers.
12. Wakes up in the middle of the night to yell at the lighthouse to close that annoying light so that he can get some sleep.
11. You find him reading, “Eight Different Dinners You Can Make With Oatmeal.”
10. Every morning greets the group with, "Wonder who'll die today?"
9. Announces that if anything serious happens it’s best you don’t ask him for assistance as he’s given to panic attacks.
8. First day's preparation devoted entirely to a workshop on making out your last will and testament.
7. Every 10 minutes, stops, puts his hands to his head, and yells, " The voices! The voices! Someone stop the voices!"
6. Has the group search for firewood in the rain while directing the operation from under the tarp.
5. When asked to show the group where they are on the map, proclaims "Map, schmap – besides who can read one!!"
4. Asks if anyone can take on his food share, sleeping bag, clothes, and guide equipment as he only brought his daypack.
3. Uses the emergency radio to try and contact the UFOs he knows are following the group.
2. Every so often, turns and screams, "Stop following me!"
1. Squeezes your ass then yells, "Hey, if we get stranded for a few days we can live off Tubby here!"
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